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the art of bargaining

what i love abt shopping in bangkok is the bargaining. it doesnt matter if the item is way cheaper than what it’ll cost in singapore, the kick you get out of bargaining is priceless. the whole art of sa3 jiao1-ing (to somewhat flirt) with the salesperson (usually very flirty aunties) is very hard to master. you cut too low you’ll kill their interest in making the sale, you dont cut low enough you wont get the maximum pleasure out of the whole transaction. hence out of boredom, i’ve derived the dummy’s guide to bargaining! with no guarantee it’ll work of course :D

firstly, as a standard procedure in all potential transactions, cut the price by half as much as you can. i.e if its 100baht you go 60! of course if its 10baht please dont tell her you want 5. its abit shamless to buy something for less than 25cents. and remember, at all times, speak VERY very flirt-ily.

second step. if you sense ANY sign of hostility, please adhere to the following steps.

1. give a very sheeeepish smile.

2. say a very elongated “please” with the cutest possible eye expression you can force out of yourself. if you can make your eyes a little wet for that sparkling finish it’d be perfect.

3. use an excuse. if you’re below 30 (but dont look like 40) tell her you’re a student who’s struggling to make ends meet and that your holiday is financed by your savings derived from desperate measures like self-starvation.

after which, if the hostility disappears, carry on with the next step. if hostility worsens, please shave as little as possible from the original price whilst gaining maximum bargaining pleasure and carry on with the transaction. you wouldnt want thai sales aunties throwing voodoo spells at you.

third step. once the aunty starts to gain interest in your very sad plight, work upwards from the half mark. ie. you say 65baht instead of 60. the trick is to keep going until the maximum price you are willing to pay and then say very firmly yet in a very friendly tone with a very wide smile (dont forget!) “if you give me (insert price you are willing to pay) i WILL buy!” well if that doesnt work, repeat step 3.

after the three main steps, you would have completed the transaction. the trick is then to give them as exact an amount as you can (you dont want them to see your 1000baht note after claiming you dont have money) and then when they return you your change (or pass you your merchandise) you must say a very exaggerated khap kun kraaaap to thank them for the very successful transaction. no matter how pissed off they are, a genuine thai greeting will make everything happy again :D

THE END. hahaha.

ok back from bangkok, back to reality. im a poor poor boy now ):


One Response to “the art of bargaining”

  1. haha…it’s Khorp Khun Khrap btw.. =p

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